I learned about the meaning of “guilty pleasure” around three weeks ago. Few days before the government pulled the brake due raising cases of Covid-19 in Indonesia reached unbelievable new level.
At that time, the daily cases of Covid-19 was still high, which was around 5000-6000 new cases a day. Still very high compared to developed countries. However, after more than a year we curbed our activities and spent most of our time in the convenience of my small home, I decided to take my old Canon 700D and go out to a street. I went out for photo hunting.
My lovely wife accompanied me as she also wanted the same small freedom in this boring situation.
It felt free and enjoyed the experience. After feeling like a prisoner behind bars for more than 12 months, I really liked it. However, at the same time, I also felt that I made mistakes. I felt guilty.
After taking very strict precaution living due to the pandemic and trying hard to keep my family out of the reach of the Corona virus, I thought I made a stupid decision to go out just for doing unimportant thing. The risk was still high for me and my wife to be harmed by the virus but an impulsive decision caused by the stress and boredom inside me has blinded my mind.
Eventually, I enjoyed the photo hunting sessions – I made two sessions on different days – . I was happy and full of joy. No special thing I did but to be in the open area for long time and doing what you loved after missing it for long time is felt very very special.
However, after that I decided to stop. My logic, which is still sane, pushed me strongly to take this action.
The case of Covid-19 increased drastically after the day. For last two days, the number has reached a staggering level, more than 38.000 cases with death stays on 1000 deaths. Today number is a bit lower, “only” 35 thousand but I am sure it should be considered as very high and dangerous.
Therefore, I made a decision not to go out from my small fortress, my home, until .. I don’t know. I know how boring to be kept in small home for long time, but I believe it’s the right thing I must do at this moment.
I chose to lose my pleasure than having to feel guilty, worried, and stupid after doing such common thing.