A Betrayal Or Not : Falling In Love With Someone Else While Still Married

It happens, I believe to majority of married couples in the world that after years of happy marriage, you meet someone who make you feel like a teenager, falling in love.

She/he can be a person you just meet, an old friend, a colleague at office, etc. She/he creates something in your heart that makes your heart thump faster and the adrenaline rouse. Or, she/he makes you comfortable when you are close to her/him.

Yeah, many couples in the world surely have , if they dare to speak the truth, experienced such thing during their marriage.

Then, I also believe that a question may pop up in their mind,”Is it a betrayal act for falling in love to someone else other than your spouse?”

Well, in my opinion, no it is not. Definitely, you don’t betray your wife or husband.

Human can’t control such a feeling from coming. It’s a nature of being a human.That you are attracted to someone else shows that you are still a human.

You can blame the feeling to hormon, or to the circumstance, or any other thing but still it’s one thing that human can always have anytime, anywhere.It doesn’t matter how hard you try not to have such feeling, the feeling can still emerge out of your will.

The love is one thing that make human being far from extinction.

In Frame Tri Trisdiyanti, Bogor Botanical Garden 2019

What makes it become a betrayal or not is the next act you take after the feeling occupies your heart and mind.

If you decide to continue with having an affair with her/him, then you betray your spouse. You cheat them. The same thing, if you choose to leave and go away with a person you fall in love , the act can be considered as a treason as well by your spouse.

A marriage oath, any type and in any culture, is usually made by an “agreement” of two persons to live the life together, to pursue a happiness as “one”. As a result, then you are obliged to keep and fulfil your promise til the end.

Of course, many may say that a human being has a privilege to pursue their own happiness. So, whenever you fall in love with other than your spouse, it’s used as an excuse to separate. However, leaving someone who may pour their life to you from other is an action of betrayal too.

The border between betrayal or not is as thin as paper.

In frame : Aida Wijaya, Siem Reap, Cambodia, 2019

You can not escape from your unwanted feeling. There is almost no tool that can provide such feeling from coming. But, you have a choice to take further step.

That’s why I think, there is no wrongdoing if you fall in love to someone else while you are married. It’s inevitable. It’s nature of human.

However, just keep in mind, that you may cross the boundary when you tell your wife/husband about what you feel. It must be kept hidden and secret. It’s not a disgrace or taboo but it may ruin your world and happiness.

As long as the secrecy of your feeling is maintained, I really don’t think it is a betrayal.

In frame : Tri Trisdiyanti, Bogor Botanic Garden, 2018

Special note :

The women in this posting are not my secret love. Both are close friends of mine. One was a colleague in my office and the other is an old friends and at the same time, my partner in doing my business.

Both’s photos are included into this posting just as an illustration and because I need to includes some of my works as a photographer.

This posting is made just because I read a question of Quora and instead of replying on the website, I chose to write my thought in my own blog.

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